Chest feeding is often portrayed as a natural and rewarding experience, but the reality is that it can be a steep learning curve for many lactating people. It's not always smooth or easy, and for some, it can be accompanied by unexpected emotional challenges. Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER) is one such challenge that can complicate the chest feeding journey. Unlike the idealized images of serene breastfeeding moments, D-MER introduces a layer of emotional difficulty that can make the process even more demanding. Understanding what D-MER is, how it feels, and how to manage it can make a significant difference in navigating this aspect of chest feeding.
What is D-MER?
Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex is a physiological condition that affects lactating individuals, causing a sudden onset of negative emotions just before milk release (letdown). Unlike postpartum depression or anxiety, D-MER is a reflex reaction that occurs due to hormonal changes. Specifically, it is believed that a rapid drop in dopamine levels, which happens when oxytocin is released to facilitate milk letdown, triggers these distressing emotions. This drop in dopamine leads to feelings of dread, sadness, or anxiety, which typically subside within a few minutes after milk flow begins.
The Experience of D-MER
Experiencing D-MER can be quite overwhelming. Many people describe it as a sudden and intense wave of negative emotions that seems to hit right before their milk lets down. This could include feelings of deep sadness, anxiety, or even a sense of impending doom. These emotions can be so intense that they might feel out of place during a typically joyful or neutral moment of chest feeding.
It’s crucial to understand that D-MER is not a reflection of a person’s feelings towards their baby or their overall mental health. The feelings associated with D-MER are involuntary and separate from one's overall emotional state. This means that even though the emotional response is challenging, it does not reflect a parent’s true feelings about their role or their child.
Ways to Get Treatment
Managing D-MER involves a combination of strategies aimed at understanding and mitigating the emotional impact. Here are some comprehensive approaches to handling this condition:
Educate Yourself and Others: Understanding that D-MER is a physiological response can be empowering. Learning about how D-MER works can help you recognize that these feelings are a normal part of the reflex and not a personal failure. Educating family members and support networks about D-MER can also foster a more supportive environment.
Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporating mindfulness practices, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation, can help reduce the intensity of the negative emotions experienced during letdown. Regular practice of these techniques can improve overall emotional resilience.
Diet and Lifestyle Adjustments: Some lactating individuals find that making changes to their diet and lifestyle can help manage D-MER symptoms. Eating a balanced diet, maintaining stable blood sugar levels, staying well-hydrated, and getting regular exercise may contribute to a more stable emotional state.
Regular Monitoring and Record-Keeping: Keeping a journal of your experiences with D-MER can help identify patterns or triggers. Tracking when symptoms occur, their intensity, and any related factors (like stress or diet) can provide insights that might help in managing the condition.
Seek Professional Support: Consulting with a lactation consultant who is knowledgeable about D-MER can provide tailored support. They can offer practical advice and emotional support, helping you navigate chest feeding challenges. Additionally, engaging with a mental health professional who understands perinatal mental health issues can offer further strategies for coping with the emotional impact of D-MER.
Support Groups and Peer Support: Connecting with others who have experienced D-MER can be incredibly validating. Support groups, whether in-person or online, provide a platform to share experiences, gain insights, and receive encouragement from people who truly understand what you’re going through.
Professional Counseling and Therapy: For some, professional counseling or therapy can be beneficial. A therapist specializing in perinatal mental health can help address the emotional impact of D-MER and provide strategies to cope with the distressing feelings associated with it.
Adjust Breastfeeding Techniques: Sometimes, adjusting the timing or frequency of chest feeding sessions can help manage D-MER symptoms. Experimenting with different feeding schedules or techniques might help in finding what works best for you and your baby.
Finding Connection and Support
If you’re navigating D-MER, remember that you’re not alone. Many lactating individuals face this challenge and find ways to manage it. Connecting with others who understand your experience can provide comfort and practical advice. Reach out to support networks, talk to professionals who can offer guidance, and give yourself grace as you work through this.
No matter how tough things might feel, know that there are people who care and resources available to help you through. Your experience is valid, and seeking support is a sign of strength. You’ve got this!
References:
D-Mer (dysphoric milk ejection reflex). Cleveland Clinic. (2024, May 1). https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24879-dysphoric-milk-ejection-reflex D-MER.org. (n.d.). Mer.org. D. https://d-mer.org/ Heise, A. M., & Wiessinger, D. (2011, June 6). Dysphoric milk ejection reflex: A case report. International breastfeeding journal. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3126760/
KellyMom. (2018, January 15). Depression or other negative emotions upon milk let-down (D-Mer). KellyMom.com - Breastfeeding and Parenting. https://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mother/d-mer/
Comments